Ken Schroeder - Java Daddies
MARCH 30, 2020 © Right Here, Right Now.
“I think everybody probably goes through times where they do great and times that are not so great. Because life is hard for a lot of people a lot of times, and this has kind of made a lot of people's lives change right now at the same time, but there is always hope and always peace. You just have to search for peace and then hold on and stand on that. And when you find that anchor of peace in your heart from within and then you just go forward.
If being in business was easy, then everyone would do it. It’s not easy, it never has been easy. And so right now it’s hard, it’s got some unique things that make it harder on some aspects, but it’s never been easy. So you just always have to get creative, you always have to persevere, and if you don’t encourage yourself…most people aren’t ready to do it for you…you have to, you just have to find a way to encourage yourself and face the challenge. We’re facing it right now, we’re one day closer, every morning when I wake up I remind Rick, we’re one day closer and that’s the way we’re doing it right now.
I watched and I knew just from the beginning even before a lot of the mandates started coming in place, I said the fatalities from this disease may be minimal, but the business fatalities will be astronomical and I said buckle up, it’s gonna be a wild ride and it was, it was fast and furious there for a while.
That one day, we started the morning and we were at 20 people, and then by noon it had been declared that restaurants only allowed 10, and by evening, that particular evening…it lasted a couple of days, but then the next evening it went to zero, just carry out only. So about every time, you would adjust, you would have to re-adjust again. That’s what I was saying it’s the same adjustment regardless of the circumstances around it…you either get bitter or you get better and we’re gonna get better and we’re going to get stronger. We were already looking to make some changes and needed to do some things, so maybe in some ways this just pushes it to the forefront, say what’s the right strategy? What's the right look? And how do you do it?
Here you are on a Sunday afternoon, which is normally buzzing, people at the tables, people coming and going and there’s been nobody. You know when you’re in the old market, it’s a food and drink destination and so when you eliminate food and drink you kind of eliminate the old market. It’s about the place, and connectedness. Like this project you’re doing, it was kind born out of a coffee shop. Great relationships, great ideas, great things are born in this kind of place, and great friendships are made. I kind of laugh because I think we’re the official first date spot, especially for our community. You can always spot them. One gets here earlier here than the other and they find a little quiet spot, and I feel bad for all of the first dates that aren’t happening. It’s fun, we are privileged to be in a business that we are part of people's lives and when you’re in that business you’re part of life in the good times and you’re part of those lives in the bad times and in-between times. I think that’s our role, part of our privilege, part of that challenge because you become really connected to a lot of people.
I think this is a challenging unique experience, but there have always been things like it. It doesn’t matter what, maybe not on this scale, but hard times make people dig deep for what’s valuable and what’s really valuable is one another. Whats really viable is life, and health, and peace and joy. And I think difficult times, tough times push us to take hold of what is really real and maybe let go fo things that are not so real.
Our business evolution has been challenging for a couple of years because of the circumstances related to the property that we leased for The Diner being sold, so that put us into kind of a really scary time and then you try things, some things work, some things don’t. So I think we’ve been kind of in this mode that we’re in now, really since that, all started transpiring because it just kind of puts your whole life and everything into upheaval so maybe we had a jump start on everybody else, you know all of the other businesses that are going through it because of these circumstances right now. So I think we’ve done a lot of that reflecting already and that part of that process so our value and our appreciation that have been so supportive of our work. We’ve been nothing but grateful for the people that have helped us through this whole time. So we’ve been kind of in that grateful and thankful, and blessed mode for a while, and I don’t want to leave that really. I just hope that the circumstances let up and people are allowed to reconnect.
The Diner was a unique place, to say the least. We knew when that was changed, cause we owned the structure and the contents, so we thought “let's move it” and all the movers said that’s not an option. Then we thought, let’s recreate it somewhere…we just didn’t find the space. So we saved the entryway, the neon, the signage, the booths…we’ve got it all in storage. We might have a place down here now that could be it, which would be great. You just can’t put that into some little storefront - strip mall place, it just wouldn’t work because it was what it was, and it was about the place, it was about connecting, it was about everybody being welcome. And everybody feeling like it was their place. Which was so cool, the college kids thought it was all for them, and old people thought it was their place because they’ve been going for 20 years, and then you have families that think it’s their place because they drive from Papillion every Sunday for pancakes. Everybody thought it was theirs, so Rick and I had the privilege of letting it be theirs. So when that changed, we didn’t want to do nothing so we made some changes, tried some things, and then we added the coffee shop at that time. Some things work, some things don’t. But the coffee shop and the coffee truck had been fun and the people appreciated it. So, as I said, we had just started making some transitions and then this came up so we just have to reposition ourselves, re-strategize.
Josh - How did you and Rick meet?
Oddly enough it was at the diner. (laughs) Cause I was working a full-time job, and the Diner just kept growing and growing and exceeding kind of where it had kind of been. And I was looking for help, and Ricks's background…he had expertise in Food and Beverage. And so he came walking into the interview and I had already decided to hire him cause…I liked him (Laughs) So that’s where we met, and when I asked him to marry me I had set up the diner set up to look like “The Bachelor” set, I had about 2,000 candles and 200 yellow roses there. I had put him on a little scavenger hunt around town, and he started off all goofy and then he got more serious, more serious…He was like “He’s up to something” because he’s a Facebook junkie you know? So I said the only thing you have to do is make a little video at each spot where you get the clue. And so, I’m watching it cause I wanted his friends and family to be able to participate and I knew he would have posted it anyhow. So the end of the trail was The Diner, so obviously that was hard when that went away.
We got that phone call…we didn’t even know that it was sold, we got a call from one of the t.v. channels here wanting to know the story because they saw the docket that this was going before the board for approval. I said “What?” Because we had just talked with the owner of the property that week that we could work a deal because he didn’t even think it would go through…so it caught us all off guard.
But before that in December we had a lady that worked for us for almost 30 years. And on a Tuesday morning she was late, I said that’s normal, bless Joni’s heart she could run behind. So 6:15 I wasn’t concerned, 6:30 I was concerned. 6:45 comes and I called Rick and I said, “Joni’s Dead”. He said, “Why do you say that?” I said, “It’s Tuesday morning, 6:45, no call, no Joni.” So, I went over in the lunch hour and knocked trying to get her to open up. Then I got a call from her grandson wanting to know if grandma was there and I said no, “Please tell your family to check on her as soon as possible.” We end up breaking into her house that night and finding her, she had gotten up to get ready for work, her little bed made, everything laid out and she never made it that day. And I helped the Coroners office carry her out, and Rick and I got into the car and told him that “The Diner died today”. Because Joni was classic man, she was diner everything. She was “Hey baby whatcha gonna have?” Sassy, brash, she loved everybody, she would do anything…it didn’t matter if she had any money or not, she would give whatever she had to anybody, and Joni new every story about everything in the Old Market, She’d work there almost 30 years…and she was my friend…and she was the life of that place really.
She touched Everybody. Even if you didn’t know her, you felt like you knew her. And she was gonna treat you…it didn’t matter if you were a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or off the street if she liked ya she liked ya if she didn’t…She’d say “ What do ya want? Just shut up and tell me whatcha want”. (Laughs) She’d get by with whatever because that was Joni. And I’ll tell ya though…you see somebody work at a job that long, and just stay at it, they’re not there for the money, they’re not there for the glamour…it was hard. Here’s this lady…and we keep a picture of her over with The Diner pictures, its the only picture of her because she wouldn’t allow anybody…people were always coming and using The Diner for video shoots, and music videos and commercials so we were always renting it out for all sorts of stuff and if there were a t.v. camera or any camera of any kind Joni was gone. She did not want her picture taken. But we took her to The Jersey Boys because she had never been to the Orpheum, lived in Omaha her whole life and had never been to a show. So we took her to The Jersey Boys and we said she was going to be our date for the night, she was going to be our princess. We got her a little tiara and she went out and got herself a little outfit. We had her for dinner at our house then we walked down to the Orpheum and that was the only picture we had of her. But she was our princess for the night…what a lady…what a lady…
Josh - I think maybe we could all learn a lot from Joni…
Yes, Yes…She didn’t care about anything as long as her bills were paid, anything else she had she was giving it away to someone that needed it. Family, anyone that wandered in.
Josh - It’s good to have people like that in our lives right? Her story gives me strength. I remember her because she was there before you owned it…I was a little punk kid like going in there and stuff…I know exactly who you’re talking about.
That’s why I said, “ As long as she stays I’ll do it”. That was part of the deal and so we talked; “You gonna stay?” and she said “ If you’ll want me? Do You want me?” I said, “ I want you, I don’t know you, but I know enough to know that you are the key to the front and the key to the back.”
I kept it going…when we bought it and took over the business I said “Under two conditions…Flo our cook and Joni had to stay…if everybody else left, you know, we’d still make it, but as long as those two were on board, we’ll do it. As I said, it was not easy. That really started our path of a real challenging time. And then February came with the change announced. Then the new owners told us we could operate until Sunday, July 1st but we had to be out within 24 hours because their bulldozers were coming on Thursday, July 5th to tear it down. Well, it wasn’t a year and a half later they finally tore it down, you know…so. As I said, it’s been this real challenge do you get bitter? Or do you get better? Do you look forward or do you in the past?
That’s what I’m saying, right now this is an ugly time, it’s a challenging time, it’s a frustrating time, but it’s still the same rules we’ve still been in…you know, fight or flight. Do you just give up? Or do you fight on?
Josh - Being part of the LGBTQIA+ community and being a business owner in the Midwest can be challenging. What has that journey been like for you?
Everything in our life either makes us stronger or weaker I think. Obviously my journey is not the same as yours, so many parts were oppressed, ignored, denied. So when I made the decision to come out it cost me everything. It cost me, family, it cost me business, it cost me everything. But I felt free for the first time in my life. And that freedom and that sense of no shame…not carrying shame for the first time. I was going to turn 40, so 39 years of shame and that had done all sorts of things to express and manifest in my physical health and then to say…Truth. And to have that shame gone and that burden gone I didn’t mind living in my car…because I was free. And so, you speed up a few years down the road and now I come to a point where I’m not ashamed of who I am, I may not have announced it everywhere, everybody deals with it different, but I would never deny it either if it would come up. So when Rick and I came to a point of a relationship that was going to be significant, we really had to re-evaluate, do we just want to be at work, and this was going to be work world and then…I said “No, I said I will not go back and I will not be ashamed of who I am and what I have. And I look at you, Rick, as my gift, my treasure and I’m not ashamed of you. I want to share it with the world. And so I knew that by that decision we might lose some customers, and we did a very small amount…and I respect that, cause I am of a different maybe position then a lot of people within that community where I think everybody has the right to decide what they want to support. And I want them to know, if you support this then you’re supporting us and this is who we are, and if you don’t want to support that, I get it, and I’m alright with that. I give you that right. On the flip side of that, there are certain places I won’t go because I know they don’t support who I am, and that’s my right. I don’t have to get angry and I don’t have to protest but I want to be informed because if they’re smiling and taking my money at the register and then when I leave they have some derogatory thing, I would much rather know face to face, you support who I am? Cool, if you don’t? Thats cool, I’m alright with that. And so we had to decide what we were going to do and we decided “No, we’re not going to hide that”. And it was very clear to everybody. That’s one reason why we had a big wedding celebration because I wanted to say to other generations it’s okay to love who you love and it was really beautiful and half of the people were our Diner family, you know, Diner regulars and what a cool celebration and what amazing love and support. And continue to this day, so many of those people continue to really make our lives better and richer and fuller.
Josh - What would you say to younger people in the LGBTQIA+ community that may be struggling with coming out?
Be who you are and don’t be ashamed but also don’t make everybody’s timeline or their agenda your agenda. You are you. Be you. Celebrate you and walk it out. Walk it out without shame. Walk it out with confidence and embrace who you are but don’t feel like you have to take pressure from one or the other, the right or the left, just be you and don’t feel like you have to conform to anybody’s expectation on either side. Just find out where there’s peace, where there’s joy, where there’s life, where there’s love. Where there are those things that are really valuable in you and build your life around that. You know, I don’t think we fit a lot of the gay communities expectation and I know we don’t fit a lot of other peoples expectations, but I’m alright with that cause I want everybody to celebrate their life and I want them to be all they can be and do all they can do and if we’re a part of it we’re going to cheer them on. And to young people, I just say, the sooner you can get past the shame…the better. Because I look at how much life was stolen because of that burden of shame, and I wouldn’t want that on anybody. So the sooner you can walk to a place to embrace truth and embrace what and who you are and where you want to be in life, that’s the best place to get people to.
We’re here for you, and we will be here. We want you to know that we believe in you and we believe in the future. Scary? Yes, it is. But we believe in it. Full of challenges? I think so, but we’re going to overcome and we’re going to win and move forward. Pain, loss, change, things will change, I don’t know exactly what it’s going to look like. It could change dramatically but I know life is gonna be good and we’re going to celebrate it and we’re gonna love it, and we’re gonna live it. That’s what it’s about…liv’n life.
I just know that if we stop we fail, but if we keep moving and keep marching we’re going to win.
Josh - What can the community do to support you?
Just show up. I don’t want to show up, I don’t want to open the door, you know, but we sure do appreciate the people who say “Hey, we’re here”. I had an online order waiting for a pick up for some regulars who said they can’t be here but we just want you to know that we’re thinking of you. You know, that means everything. That means a lot to Rick and me, but then I kinda feel guilty and I thought, wait…Who do Rick and I need to be telling that we’re here for you? You know this isn’t a one-sided deal. What can we be and what can we do for others that might need the same thing? So we all need each other. We’re in this together, and whatever way we can support each other, I know we’ll do it because that’s what happens in challenging times, people come together and they hold on to what's really valuable."